Aquadots
by SincerelyRainbow
Summary: MxNfriendship/Crack!/T for safety/R&R It all started with Mello's curiosity, but somehow, it ended with Near, a bikini and the Cha-Cha Slide. But what does Aquadots have to do with anything?


**AUTHOR'S NOTES: **I was reading reviews for Blood Types, and one in particular caught my eye. "[. . .]You know SR, you really have the skills to write anything and have it make sense. [. . . ] I bet you can write Near in a bikini doing the cha cha slide and still have it make sense" (M i d n i t e D u s t). Okay, so her example got me thinking. And then this Pixos commercial came on. Only Pixos used to be Aquadots, but they were pulled off the shelves for having date rape drugs in them. But a date rape drug just wasn't as amusing, so I just made Near start tripping. XD So based off those two things, this piece of absolute CRACK! was born.  
**DISCLAIMER!: **If you take this story seriously, I pity you. I mean really, God help the person that thinks I'm being serious with this. Also, I do not own Death Note, Near, Mello or Matt. I do not own Google, The Cha Cha Slide or Aquadots either. I really wouldn't WANT to own Aquadots.  


* * *

Near hadn't meant to eat the Aquadots. He hadn't even really meant to be playing with them. Some other orphan had gotten them for her birthday. Said orphan had put some in his hand. The white haired boy quickly brought them towards his face, poking at one with his finger. He couldn't figure out how water made them stick together, but that didn't matter. With his hand cupped slightly, the rainbow of dots were a mere two inches away from his face. He stared at them carefully, but his investigation was cut short. A hand smacked the back of his head, and in his shock, the boy took a deep breath. Hence, said ingestion of the Aquadots in question.

A laugh could be heard as Near let out a few coughs. He looked up to see Mello towering over him, a huge smile spread across his lips. For some reason or another, Near wasn't surprised. It had become a daily thing for Mello to pick on him in someway. He had read somewhere kids picked on other kids because of silly crushes, but this in no way could apply to Mello. Near was absolutely sure of this.

But all of that didn't matter. What did matter was Near was suddenly feeling very strange. A creepy smile crept across his face. He stood up and walked away from the room, driven by some unseen force, driven by the ingested Aquadots. Mello and the unnamed orphan watched unamused as the young boy crept out of the room. It was surprisingly unsurprising. Near had always been a little bit strange.

Near entered Linda's room and began to go through one of her drawers. Luckily, the girl wasn't in her room. Otherwise, she might have been quite shocked by the boy's behaviors. Unlike Mello, she actually believed that Near was normal. Although, right now, he was anything but.

He found exactly what he was looking for and proceeded to leave the room. His next stop was Matt's room. The gamer had his own laptop, one he had saved up for for God knows how long. Near sat down at the laptop and typed in a song on Google.

A few moments later, Matt could hear music coming from his room. He hadn't recalled leaving any music on, and he would have never listened to that song in the first place. Curiously, he pushed open the door. What he saw shocked him more than anything he had seen in his days at Whammy's.

_Right foot, let's stomp. Left foot let's stop. Cha-cha real smooth._

Near was doing the cha-cha slide and doing it quite well. Even stranger, Near was doing the cha cha slide in girl's clothing. But not just girl's clothing. If Matt wasn't mistaken, Near was doing the cha-cha slide in a girl's bikini. There was just so many things wrong with this. It made no sense, absolutely no sense whatsoever.

That is, until Mello walked by. He took one look at Near and burst into uncontrollable laughter, laughing about how the news had been right. How Aquadots really did contain drugs. Only, they weren't date rape drugs, obviously. If they were, God help the person that wants to rape Near.

As the song came to an end, Matt stared awestruck at the entire scene. It was truly something he would never forget.

And that's why Aquadots were pulled from the shelves. (Even though, they made a comeback as Pixos, but that's another story.)

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: **As a Near cosplayer/role player, I melted my own brain writing this. I hope you had a chuckle. This one as for you M i d n i t e! XD


End file.
